Sunday, November 27, 2011

Letter to my Brother in Law~4 years

Dear Big guy,
It's been 4 years since we have seen your smile, heard your laugh, or felt one of your bear hugs. There are days when it seems like yesterday you were here and then there are days when it seems like an eternity since we last saw you. They are the harder days to deal with. The hole you left in the family is one that is not easily filled. Nor do we want it to be. The toughest thing for me to come to terms with is how I wasn't always the nicest person to you. Years ago we both said some hurtful things. Things that never should have been said. Unfortunately once words are spoken you can not take them back. You can pretend you never said them but they are still there. I wish now when I said I forgave you, I meant it. We have to learn and move on. I know in my heart that you had forgiven me because that was the kind of guy you were. I always considered you a throwback from an old generation. You would "sign" contracts with nothing more than a handshake. We were stunned when you did a handshake deal to buy the land to build your farmhouse on. You taught me how to not only trust but to have Faith in people. Who does that anymore? You could have your last 10 dollars in your wallet and still give it to someone who needs it. We watched as you drove truck to support your family and any spare time was spent building your farmhouse. We watched as your second wife divorced you and took everything you owned. You never complained. You just picked yourself up and started over. We all cried with joy when you married your 3rd wife and finally had the children you always dreamed of having. After all your hardships your dreams finally came true. That's what made your passing so hard to accept. Everything was finally falling into place for you when you left this earth. I know things happen for reasons and we may never know what they are. I trust that you are in a place where you are happy and not in any pain. That's what keeps us going.
Until we meet again......

P.S. Your hat is still in the same place it was 4 years ago.


Social Lilac said...

May God comfort you through this time.
P.S. Everything's going to be ok.

Anonymous said...

Hi. This was a difficult post to read but not, I'm guessing, as difficult as it was to write. I think it's nice that four years later you're still offering up nice words like this to your brother-in-law. I found your blog through NaBloPoMo.