Tuesday, January 27, 2009

I miss you a little..........

Today makes the 11th year without my Dad. He lost his battle to Kidney cancer 8 days after his 43rd birthday. On a cold December day we were told my Dad only had 6 more weeks to live. How do you cram a lifetime of memories into 6 weeks. How do you start letting go while still hanging on?  How do you say goodbye to one of the most important people in your life? How do you tell someone how much they mean to you without breaking down and crying? How do you cope and function for your three small children? If you are like me you live in denial. Pure denial. You convince yourself he will be o.k. You would tell yourself he would live and totally amaze the doctors. I totally set myself up. I honestly didn't think he would die until the day before he did. My dad was an amazing guy. It wasn't just me who thought so. The day of his viewing the people were lined up down the block to pay their last respects. He meet my Mom when I was 8 years old. I was his daughter from that day on. Plain and simple. He never treated me any different then my brother. I learned trust and security from him. My bio Dad left my Mom when I was 5 and I wasn't a very trusting kid. I was welcomed into a huge Italian family. It was just what my Mom and I needed. Two years before my Dad died I heard a song by John Michael Montgomery called I miss you a little. I remember listening to it and thinking it was a sad song. It took on a whole different meaning when I heard after he died. I miss you a little... a little more each day. How true is that? I miss my Dad more today then the day he died. If today you get a chance listen to this song and tonight when you see the stars say hi to my Dad.

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