3 years and 1 month ago......

National Adoption Day. Every year the Saturday before Thanksgiving is set aside for finalizing adoptions. It is a day families have dreamed about for a long time. The feelings and emotions you feel this day is so hard to describe. A few years ago we finalized a month before National adoption day.

This is the little guy who changed our lives

Three years ago we got up just like we do every morning. Today was different. We got dressed and brushed our teeth. Only today was different. We ate breakfast and got in the car. But today was different. Instead of driving everyone to school we drove to a courthouse. We were meet there by our social worker, Hubby's parents,and sister. We sat down next to another family and waited for them to call our names. I couldn't help but look around at the other families. You could see nervous,excited and happy all at the same time.  Our social worker couldn't tell us what to expect because this was her first finalization too. We passed the time by taking photographs. (I discovered this later but I had the wrong setting on my camera. I can't enlarge my pictures any bigger than 4x6. I can't tell you how upset I was when I found that out. Grr.)

Finally what seemed like an eternity they called our name. We were sworn in. I have to admit the court room was a lot smaller than I expected. The Judge told us that finalizing was his favorite part of being a Judge. I was the first one to take the stand. He asked us the names and ages of our kids. What we were changing our son's name to. Hubby took the stand and we both promised to love and care for Bubby as if he was a naturally born to us.(Can I just say,I hate that word. Naturally? Really as apposed to what? Time to update words. Geesh.) We of course said yes. Judge hit the gavel and Bubby became legally ours. We took some pictures with the Judge and some more outside the courthouse. We said our byes to my in laws and spent the day as a family.

Forever Family~Trust me. We really do not look like this anymore. HA!

We kept it simple. We went to a huge mall and had lunch. Shopped. We made Bubby a build a bear dog. We wanted him to have something to remember the day with. When you are 17 months you don't remember a lot. HA! We had a huge party that weekend. I can't tell you enough how thankful I am to our friends and family who celebrated the day with us. They have never looked at him as anything but our son. Not foster. Not adopted. But our son.

He just thought it was a day to get balloons,to us it was so much more.

As I think about the families celebrating today a big smile comes across my face. I know the feelings they are having. The excitement. The happiness. The I can't believe it's finally happening. I wish them luck. Most of all, I hope they have the day they always dreamed of.

I'm including a link in case anyone wants more info on adopting.
http://www.davethomasfoundation.org/free-adoption-resources/research-and-awareness/

National adoption month.....

As you may or may not beware the month of November is National Adoption month. The whole month is set aside to bring awareness to the many children waiting in foster care. This is something near and dear to my heart. Hubby and I adopted our son through foster care. I will be sharing more on our story on National adoption day. Please be sure to stop back on November 19. When we started our journey we had friends and family who either didn't understand or had questions. I can't help but wonder how many other people are interested in adopting but think they can't. I thought I would share some information I learned on our journey.

Truth is most people can adopt. It doesn't matter if you are married,single,LGBT, or if you are older. The ages and amount of available children for adoption vary from state to state. It actually can vary from county to county. There are basically two ways to adopt through foster care. One way is straight adoption or risk free. You would only consider a child who is legally free. Parental rights would already be terminated when the child is placed with you. I know a lot of people prefer this type because there is no wondering if/when the judge will terminate rights. The second type is foster to adopt or legal risk. In this type of adoption you are accepting a child into your home who the parents still have rights. You might not know when/if the judge will terminate rights. Hence legal risk. This is the type we did. I have to admit it's not for the faint of heart but it is doable. I went into the process with an open mind and heart. I gave myself permission to love like crazy and to accept things were out of my control. I'm a total control freak so that was the hardest part of the whole process for me. HA!

The first thing you have to do is look up your state and look for their Adoption/foster link. Here you should find the available agencies in your state. Here is a link. I emailed a bunch of agencies before I made a phone call. Some people recommend calling for faster results.

The next step would be your home study. Now I know what you are thinking. Burgmom, I don't own my house. Or I don't have a room just for the child. Or perhaps it's I don't make a lot of money. Here's the beauty part. You don't have to own your house or be wealthy. The child can share a room with other children as long as they are the same sex. I'm sure your next question is "how do I know how to deal with the child's issues"? That's where your parenting classes come into play. Yes, you will be required to take parenting classes. The classes aren't as hard as they sound. I found them very useful. (I was able to use some of the info for dealing with my one Bio daughter.) During this you will also be asked what type of child would you be willing to accept. BE HONEST. I can't stress this enough. I know of people who would say they would accept a lot of things, just to be placed with a child.

OK,so now you've done your home study and passed. What's next? This is where your social worker comes into play. She or He will look at the available children and try and make matches for you. Read the files. Ask questions. Be open. If you are unsure about a condition, do research. You might be surprised to learn something you never thought you could handle,you can.

Let's say you've now passed your home study and have been matched, now what? That depends on the child's situation. Legally free/not legally free or if the child has adjustment issues. Most of the time you will visit the child for a few weeks before they move the child in with you. Depending if the child is legally free or not determines how long until you finalize your adoption. I have found this varies from county to county.

The one thing to remember is every one's journey will be a different one. Yes, It can be a scary one but it is so rewarding. My journey is a memory I will always treasure. I would love to do it again. I just wanted to add. There are so many children in the system that all they ever wanted was for a family they can trust and love them. If you have room in your heart and home,please consider adopting from foster care.  If you have any questions or just want to talk about the process leave a comment or email. I would love to hear from you.

P.S. If you have made it to the end of my wordy post here is a photo listing of waiting children.

Did you do anything special?

Last month was National Adoption month. It started out as National Foster care month to bring public awareness to children in the foster care system.  Sometime over the years it started to include all adoptions. Courthouses all over the country hold multiple adoptions on the same day. There are parties and special things for the kids to do. It's a nice way to celebrate a long journey. If you have ever done foster to adopt you know exactly what I am talking about. Our own adoption journey took us 16 months. In world of foster care that was quick. 

So what did we do? Well we had a party. We actually finalized over a month ago,so we missed National Adoption Day in our county by two weeks. Honestly,I don't know if we will celebrate next year or not. I know some families celebrate "gotcha day" and the day they finalized. My son will always know he was adopted. I just don't think they need to hear it 24/7. Those other "days" just seem like you are making the child even more different. Our bio children get Birthdays and holidays. Why should our non bio children get more days? My biggest thing is making sure all of our children are treated the same. It doesn't matter if they grew under my heart or in it. Treated the same.