Friday, April 1, 2011

Pity Party Table for One..........

A couple of weeks ago I decided to finish/start up my family trees. I started my maternal grandmothers side about 16 years ago and put it away until a few weeks ago. When my grandmother was alive she had given me a lot of names and dates. I wish I would have finished it when she was still alive. It was so important to her to have a completed family tree. I never realized how much info she knew. I've hit a wall with getting past my grand grandfather's parents and can't even find my grand grandmother's parents. As if doing one family tree isn't hard enough,I've added two more. I have wanted to do my bio father's Mom and Dad's side since I was in school. We always had those stupid family tree projects and I never had any info on his side of the family. So a few weeks ago I took out my trusty notebook that had nuggets of info I managed to collect of both families and went to work. When I started out on this journey I never gave a thought to the emotion that would hit me as I searched for my past. I knew I would get misty eyed for the family that I remembered but never expected to get emotional over the ones I never met or that died when I was a baby. As I was uncovering my father's side I couldn't help but wonder if any of them ever thought about me. Did they even know I existed? Some of them are just names on a piece of paper. I have no photographs of. No memories. I felt sad for my father when I realized how few siblings he has left and felt even sadder when he told me his mom hated his father's side of the family. He only ever saw his grandparents a few times his whole life. Kind of like my life. Sad. Yesterday I started working on the tree for the first time in 3 days when my Mom called. My aunt had passed away from cancer that morning. She was my Grandmother's sister. I lost it! I felt like I was losing my Grandmother all over again. I know people don't live forever but she was one of two sisters left in my grandmothers family. 7 siblings  and only 2 left. Until yesterday. I really don't know what I hope to find. I just know I'm doing this for my Grandmother.

 I love you Nan! I'm so sorry I didn't finish this when you were still alive to enjoy it with me.

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